Thursday, January 29, 2015

Week 3: Threatening the Sea (Storytelling)

So, let me tell you about my one encounter with the great and powerful Rama.  At first, when I heard Rama was coming to cross my sea, I was so excited to meet him. I would keep my waves calm as he sailed over. I assumed he brought ships for his army to take across the sea.

Little did I know, he had no ship and was in a terrible mood. I mean, I understand that losing Sita upset him. Also, he had been fasting for a couple days so he was probably very hungry. But it was impossible to have a normal conversation with him.

So, he summoned me, Varuna, the god of the sea between his shore and Lanka. I appeared to him immediately, excited for the chance to meet Rama and to help him defeat Ravana. I was ready to discuss ideas with Rama when he said, “Make way for my armies.”

For a second I just stared at him as I tried to decide what to say. I mean, he had to put some effort into it. I couldn't just move all this water. So I said to Rama, still trying to be patient and helpful, “I am as much subject to the laws of nature as other elements. What can I do?” Now, I thought Rama would realize his mistake and understand that I did not have unlimited power to help him.

Before I knew what happened, Rama’s face turned red and he began shouting at me. No one ever treated me that poorly in my entire life. His unintelligible shouts and curses cut through air.  I even heard him threaten to shoot me with his arrows and evaporate my water.

I stared at him in shock. What could I possibly do to make my water move for him? Unlike the Red Sea, I couldn’t just part and return to normal at the will of a staff. Moses was such a show off. I had much more water in me than the Red Sea. I also had the fish to consider. They hated being bunched up together. Finally, to stop Rama’s curses and shouts, I tried to find some middle ground. “What if I helped you build a bridge?” I asked. “You could get your army to help. Between all of us, you could cross soon.”

Rama considered this for a moment before nodding, his anger gone as quickly as it came. “So be it,” he said simply before stalking off, shouting orders at his army of monkeys to bring materials for a bridge.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I resumed my normal activity, being careful to keep waves away from where Rama and his army worked. I watched as Rama’s monkey army and woodland animals worked together to make the huge bridge to Lanka.

The stories I heard about Rama’s greatness are undoubtedly true, but I avoided him for the rest of his stay on my shores. Thankfully, everything worked out for all of us. Rama found Sita and I returned to my regular routine.

Before Rama, no one threatened to evaporate my waters, nor anyone since. Hopefully I won’t be in a situation like that again.

Monkeys and Bears build bridge to Lanka. Wikimedia
Author's Note: For this story, I changed the point of view to Varuna, the sea god that Rama summons when he is trying to cross to Lanka. Besides the perspective change, I didn't change too much, as I just wanted the opposite perspective of Rama's. I also modernized the language some, although I kept much of the dialogue between Varuna and Rama the same.

In this scene of Ramayana, I thought Rama was being kind of ridiculous. I particularly chose this story because of how Rama acted in the original.

 Everyone who meets Rama is in awe of his greatness and he usually acts quite heroic and good-natured with people who are helping him. However, there are times when he acts very judgmental, rash, and a bit whiny. He almost  seems like a child who is used to continually getting his way, and then when something happens to change that he throws a fit. A tantrum was kind of what I saw from his behavior in this scene from the original story.

The sea god was bound by natural laws and yet Rama threatens him in the hope that he will somehow do the impossible. It's lucky the sea god was not irritated about his encounter with Rama and still agreed to help the hero get across to Lanka to save Sita.

For anyone who isn't familiar with Christianity, the mention of Moses, his staff, and the Red Sea in the story is a reference to a story in the Christian Bible. In the story, to escape with the Jewish slaves from Egypt, Moses parts the waters of the red sea with his staff, allowing them passage.

Bibliography: Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana. Pg. 132-133.

10 comments:

  1. Hey Kelsey!

    I am glad someone did this story from the sea god's perspective! I really wanted to write a story similar to yours, but I didn't really know how! This story feels like the sea god is telling this story to a psychiatrist because he was so traumatized by how Rama treated him! This is one of the reason I love your story!

    The spacing between all of your writing is great. It doesn't interrupt the reading of your story, which is great because a lot of time if the spacing on a story isn't great it can be difficult to read. Another great thing about your story is the picture. It really brings this story to live! The picture paints the perfect portrait for your story. Also great use of linking where the picture came from. I liked knowing where exactly the link came from.

    The only thing I can really see wrong is there is a few small proofreading mistakes, but other then that fantastic job!

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  2. Hi Kelsey! I really liked your take on this particular scene from Ramayana. It was kind of a twist on how Rama is perceived, which I found interesting. The stories always speak of how great Rama is and all his achievements but usually there isn't ever a negative side of him shown. So thats why I really liked this story of yours and how it switched that around and portrayed Rama from a whole different perspective. I also did love the picture you chose. It really tied in with the story and gave us a sense of what that scene would look like.

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  3. Kelsey,

    I absolutely love this! I had commented on this part of the reading too with the same sort of thoughts as you displayed in your storytelling. Rama seemed very demanding, especially with how much the stories emphasize that he is good natured and always tries to do the right thing. I love your creativity and hearing the Sea’s perspective. Your transitions and flow of the writing was incredible. I always strive to for smooth transitions, but it takes quite a bit of effort for me. I honestly can’t think of something to suggest for you to work on. I think this was really good.

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  4. Hey Kelsey,

    I truly enjoyed reading this story! I am glad that you chose to write this from the sea god's perspective. I feel like the writing carries subtle humor and portrays the type of attitude that I would expect from a god. I chuckled at the comparison between Varuna's abilities and Moses' staff parting the Red Sea in Exodus. Also, the fish not wanting to be clumped together was clever.

    Overall, the story reads very well and the paragraphs are spaced adequately. I really like how you have placed your own spin on this story from the Ramayana. Throughout the epic, Rama is depicted as almost saint-like. He is never rude nor acts out of character. The fact that you have shown his "dark-side" in your story is one of the reasons I enjoyed reading it.

    I am looking forward to reading more of your storytelling posts and portfolio contents this semester!

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  5. Kelsey,

    I was automatically intrigued when I read that the sea god was excited to meet Rama; I thought that the two would engage in some type of battle. I feel like this story could just as easily be explaining how a child would have felt when they met their favorite writer/actor/athlete and were blown away by their character ha ha! I love the personification of the ocean – I would have never thought to write about the sea as a being which had the ability to control itself. Also, I find it funn Also, I find it funny that the sea was startled and seemed afraid at the threats made by Rama. Additionally, I appreciated the reference to the parting of the red sea. Overall, I enjoyed your story. It flowed very well and I didn’t come across any grammatical errors. Keep up the work and I hope to read more great stories like this in your portfolio.

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  6. Hey Kelsey! Commenting again on this story because I loved it the first time I read it and I'm glad you posted it on your portfolio. Again, just going to say some of my favorite points, the first being that I love that you wrote a story that shows a bit of a negative side to Rama. Also, love how you victimized the sea god because I honestly felt sorry for him too when I read the story the first time in the actual book.
    In terms of grammatical mistakes, I think there isn't much that needs to be commented on. The story flowed well and as always, I do enjoy first-person perspectives so glad you wrote it that way. Good job and keep it up! Can't wait to see what else you post on your portfolio!

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  7. Hi Kelsey! I really enjoyed reading this story. You had such great detail which helped the flow of your imagery effortlessly. I like that you portrayed Rama from a different light. Time and time again we have read how Rama is at his best, but never at his worst so that was very interesting. I also love that you chose to write from the sea god's perspective. I think that really made your story so much more interesting!

    Overall, I did not seem to catch any grammatical mistakes! Your spacing is right on point and the image you chose is great! Good job!

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  8. Hi Kelsey!
    The first story that I read in your portfolio was Threatening the Sea. I really enjoyed reading this story. I love that you changed the point of view to Varuna. I always love reading stories in different points of view because it is fun to see other characters feelings and thoughts. I forgot that Rama had acted the way he did in this situation, so the way he acted shocked me! That is not the normal Rama at all! I honestly felt bad for Varuna during this story. I think that you did a great job of showing Varuna’s thoughts and emotions!
    The second story I chose to read in your portfolio was Maricha’s Choice. I love when the stories are in the point of view of a character that you don’t know much about or hear much about often. The stories in The Ramayana focus on Rama, so I love reading about other characters. I think this was a good choice and I really enjoyed reading this story. I love the dialogue in this story!
    Good luck with the rest of your portfolio!

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  9. Hello Kelsey!

    I enjoyed reading your story! I like how you changed your point of view to Varuna because all the stories are so focused on Rama. You had a great amount of details in your story and it kept me reading the story. We all know Rama as the good one, but I like how you saw a different side of him.

    I enjoyed reading your author's note because it provided the details you added and why you added. I like how you kept the original story, but at the same time change the point of view to see the different side of the story. I thought it was very interesting to find out that the story was related to the Moses's story from the bible!
    I couldn't find any grammatical errors and the sentence flow was great! The use of dialogue was great too!

    I would like to read more of your story in the future!

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  10. Hi Kelsey! I hadn’t even thought about telling a story from the sea god’s point of view until I read this story. It’s such a cool twist to this scene because Varuna’s perception of Rama was never portrayed to us. I think you did a really good job in doing that because this is how I would’ve imagined Varuna acting towards Rama.
    I agree when you say that you found it ridiculous the way Rama was acting in this scene. That was my first impression when I read this section in the actual book. I liked how you portrayed Varuna as being humble and level headed. He tried to help Rama out even though Rama was being completely unfair!
    The story flows really well and your spacing and paragraph structure has all been done pretty well. Overall, you did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your portfolio stories!

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